Counter Spark
by BroadwayBabe32
Summary: Remus tried to break off his short relationship with Lily, but she knew better. Songfic. Counter Spark by Sondre Lerche. If you havn't heard this song, its perfect for RxL.


_You could be sad but never torn  
>You saw the light when it was on<br>You never turned or looked away  
>Your eyes were focused, mine were grey<em>

"Remus wait!" Lily called after me as I briskly walked away from the tea shop, head down, a shadow in the misty overcast. I closed my eyes to keep her from my mind; I did not want her to be sad or angry with me. Hell, I sort of hoped she would think it was because of James, then maybe she would just mark me off as a coward and forget all we had in common.

"Remus!" Lily called again, this time she had caught up a bit. I knew she was right behind me but I couldn't turn around. Her delicate hand had reached out and griped my arm, stopping me in my tracks. "Remus." She whispered. Lily's small frame physically turned my towering, built body to face her and focused on my grey eyes.

_Your sentences were concentrated  
>You made your points so understated<br>Where I would mumble, you would say  
>Your eyes were focused, mine were grey<em>

Lily bit her lip, and I could tell she was concentrating on what to say next. I quickly mumbled an apology but she didn't buy it.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you break up with me like that?" I smiled, It seemed like such a silly thing for Lily to say. "Look, I understand why you want to leave, but Remus don't sell yourself short! I know you don't take me for a fool so you better believe me when I say your monthly excuses have an obvious connection." I couldn't believe Lily. She had to have a wrong guess.

_I made up conversations with my symbolic language  
>Saying everybody wants to be like you<br>But I'd rather fall in love with you  
><em>

All I could do was look into Lily's emerald eyes and plead for forgiveness or hope or secrecy, it didn't matter much at that moment. All I felt was a strange mix of fear and love.

_You got the picture from the start  
>You saw right through me in the dark<br>You saw that I couldn't behave  
>with eyes so focused, yet so frail<br>_

With hands on my shoulders, Lily stood on tiptoes. I knew to lean down so her small whisper would reach my ear.

"Since second year it has never bothered me, knowing that you're a werewolf." My eyes closed ashamed to hear that Lily knew. It may not have bothered her, and Lily was the smartest witch I knew, but I'm dangerous. As if reading my mind, Lily continued.

"Remus, I know what this entails, I understand you could kill me but I also know that you wont. I love you Remus."

_I chose you from a million  
>You were the choice of billions<br>wishing they would try to be like you  
>But I'd rather fall in love with you<br>_

I bit the inside of my lip. Her words were so real, so true. I knew she meant it. The words she spoke were exactly the words I begged the Heavens to hear. This couldn't be right.

"James loves you.." I hated to say it but Lily deserved better than a monster.__

_You questioned men and called them whores  
>But you would never burn your bras<br>You held your head up in the rain  
>Your eyes were focused, mine were grey<em>

Lily looked up at me with a weak smile, "James is an arrogant prick. More of a monster than you are, that's for sure."

Of course I knew of Lily's distaste for James, but to call him a monster? James had it all, good looks, rich parents, women. I had books and a monthly curse.

Rain began to trickle through the fog, misting the two of us, still standing near the road. Lily looked up at my face, moving her slender fingers to my cheek.__

_You had relationships that worked  
>and yet experience with jerks<br>So well adjusted, but with charm  
>Your eyes were focused and yet calm<br>_

"We can make this work Remus" Lily promised. I knew she was right. I would be more surprised if the smartest witch in our class couldn't make it with a werewolf. This was my one chance for love. I thought again to my best friend. James was already so mad. I told him I would end things today. Then I remembered the way he acts around her. His extreme measures of impressing her that often ended up hurting her friend Severus or worse, her feelings. I looked down at the red headed woman I loved, unsure of how to proceed or what to say.

_I'm fairly realistic  
>But my thought are out of lip-sync<br>when I say that I'm not one of those  
>who pass you by and fall in love with you<br>who pass you by and fall in love with you  
>who pass you by and fall in love with you<em>

After several minutes of standing there in the cold misty rain, I finally said the words that pain me the most.

"I cannot love you Lily."

"Please don't do this to yourself," Lily begged. I turned away from her again and waited as still as possible while she backed off and walked away. I could only hope she would let go.__

_I'll pass you by and fall in love with you _

I turned back to where she had been standing straining to see any shape through the fog. "I love you Lily." I whispered helplessly to myself. __

_Ba-ba-ba baa-ba...  
><em>


End file.
